Intrigued

You know, I don't want my blogging to be all about , complaints and personal issues. I am sure there will be future ones indeed, however that put aside..I want you to know what intrigues me the most.

I am intrigued that people whom are not deemed or diagnosed Mentally Ill, can be so...hmmm...the way to put it...turned off by it being discussed. Why? I mean, think about it. Logically is there any reason they should have to be ashamed to discuss it? Who made the rules that said, you must never talk about being mentally ill? For that fact, who ever said it was either illegal or it was something to be ashamed of? Does it really need to be so private of an issue? Nah, I don't think so. That is akin to making someone believe it is something to be ashamed of and I just downright won't have it.

Ive never seen such an effort to bully or make someone feel as though they are not worthy, or inadequate.What even makes this such an acceptable act? Of course there are some out there intrigued with the mentally ill. If they weren't we wouldn't have doctors or therapists, or casemanagers, or even counselors. All of whom knows that the majority of the brain is not even discovered yet. Not a single human on this planet has lived up to the potential of what the human brain is capable of that walks this earth. Since every person is different in their own unique ways and not a single person is the same in genes or dna, and we are faced each and everyday with seeing things that scientifically are a mystery, yet happen anyway, that were once deemed relatively impossible, and who knows if even mentally ill people are someone to hold down or hold back in the first place with stereotypes and public disdain?

Who wrote it into law that the mentally ill are deserving of being feared and/or that it is the publics responsibility to keep it that way?

Since being a multi diagnosed severely mentally ill individual, I have likely become more intrigued by those who are not. I guess that is because I don't understand this fear, it seems so unnecessary to me. And so many feed into it, the news media's , the law enforcement, even some doctors, some families, and yes, the government. Its not that I'm seeing it as a conspiracy, instead I'm seeing it as a problem. So it makes me very intrigued to figure out why so many feel the need to keep it this way. As much as people are trying to figure my brain out, I am trying to figure theirs out too. Yes, you have your mentally ill doing some very dangerous even fatal things, horrific to say the least, but you also have people that have never been diagnosed with a mental illness at all doing the exact same. Neither one any more predictable than the other.
People are not used to someone who is severely mentally ill that is as high functioning as I am I suppose but that definitely is related to how well on any given day also. But I am mentally ill and I make sense. When I am well and at full capacity, people dont even feel like I am mentally ill at all, even those who know me and my illnesses and even my own doctors. I don't look mentally ill, I don't sound mentally ill, I don't seem mentally ill, yet I am deemed by all doctors I have encountered to be multi diagnosed severely mentally ill.
Why should that scare anyone, it don't scare me. So why should that be intriguing and/or feared? Are people afraid of me? Because I am mentally ill? Oh heck no! Mentally ill is a description, nothing more nothing less. It is not a definition of someone and who they are. People shouldn't fear what I can physically do, I can be unpredictable sure, but so can Joe shmo down the street with no diagnosed mental illness at all.
I suppose the most dangerous thing about me is my intellect, well I'm sorry , I didn't mean to be an absorber, an observer, and/or someone of a very high aptitude, I don't even learn things the same way others do, I can't, it's not possible for me to do that. My brain just don't operate that way. Maybe that is a defect I don't know exactly but I know I can't help it. If I could change it to learn like everyone else does I would. Trust me I get tired of being questioned on how I am able to pick up on things the way I do, or have the ability to figure things out that I can. Sometimes I really don't have an answer.

I do know I am very intrigued to figure out what it will take to get people to see that not only are mentally ill people more deserving of better treatment, but also of the same consideration, the same respect as anyone whom is not diagnosed with mental illness. We are not lesser people. We are just different. And even a mentally ill mind can be a very powerful one. As someone who learns from patterns, codes, numbers and colors..is both right and left brain dominant and is a hair shy of being borderline to a high functioning autistic, has a cryptic mind, and practically whatever she absorbs and observes never leaves her brain, has an extremely high aptitude among so many other attributes, I think it is safe to say, mental illness is not equivalent to being dumb, stupid, or even worth considering someone to be of lesser value in this society.

Yes, I am the one intrigued now.